Here's my card...

I absolutely adore listening to music.  I do admit to talking to myself, but not through words.  I speak to myself by listening to music, depending on whatever mood I'm in, conversations varies.  

I've discovered orchestral/soundtracks a few years ago, and I have been an instrumental music preferred person ever since.  Really, words and lyrics read outloud are just not beautiful sounding... the melody is what makes a song, and a song still good without the impact and power of words is just that much more remarkable.  (although most people would probably disagree with me.. :3 ) 

This is probably where my appreciation for soundtracks come from.  Probably also why I'm not into rap music and death metal anymore (despite those two playing a major role of my angsty teenage years), rap is basically talking, and death metal is the same, only in a batman voice.  (whoever actually reads these silly blogs of mine, I don't mean harm by saying that..! )  

WHICH is probably also where my fascination with accents come from.  Accents do not equate to singing, but because words are pronounced differently from the typical way I am used to, those with accents might as well also call themselves "natural musicians".  Afterall, if I feel like I can listen to you speak for hours without feeling the need to interrupt, I definitely consider you an artist in my books.  I have told a select few people that I love the sound of their voice in my life, and not too many people really think too hard about that compliment, but truly, that is one of the highest praising I can give someone, no matter how weird or creepy it may sound coming out my mouth. 

Why the whole blabbing about why I love listening to music?  Well today Shawhn told me he wanted me to guitar in his meshing of AC2 and AC3 soundtrack, and it MADE MY NIGHT :) :) !!!!!.  Since I adore listening to music so much, playing it is just as incredible.  I seriously cannot wait, I am way too full of joy and happiness.... and sleepiness (as I'm typing this entry late late at night!!!!)

....zzzZZzzzzzzz... 

good night world.

Dream of keyboards and strings.

:3

See How Loyal A Hungry Dog Really Is

You has no idea how much it meant to me when you ran out and followed me to the bus stop.  

I'm still thinking about it.  And it still brings a goofy smile on my face as I type this.

Oh of things I'd never ever expect you to do, this was definitely one of them.  And yet again, I was proven wrong.

Thanks darling.

Believe me, if all those endearing young charms

It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,

And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear,

That the fervour and faith of a soul can be known,

To which time will but make thee more dear.

Happy 11 months my cat! 

The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.

I recall a story my father frequently used to tell me. 

He would always start this particular story with the same question: Son, do you have faith that everything will be alright?

I remember the first time he told me that story was when my mother had passed away from illness, while I was still a little boy mourning the death of a parent.

And when I would shake my head in between the tears streaming down my face, he would cup my face in his large hands, and force me to look at him, looking at me with his knowing eyes, he would say I was wrong, and that everything will in fact, be alright.  

Here is the story:

It starts with a man.

This man was like any other, let's call him Joe, as he is just another average Joe.

Joe lived his whole life in a helluva city, where life a rat in the sewers was more pleasant than being human.  

You get the picture.

Most would sell their souls to get out of this place as soon as they can, but for Joe, he is so used to the filth he no longer notices it.  

See, Joe's father always told him, "Don't forget your roots," and for Joe, his roots are all planted deep in this city.  Generations and generations dating back to the founding of this city, when it was still a place people believed that was filled with hopes and dreams.  

Unfortunately, that time has passed.  

For Joe, he never got to experience the luscious lands and modern buildings.  When he was born, the city has already rotted, and the beauty that was once casted has made its final curtain call.

Needless to say, growing up was tough for poor ol' Joe.  In a world so crumbled and isolated, it doesn't take much for anybody to snap into insanity.  

You may ask what is insanity?

Well, let's just say police from other departments wouldn't set a foot into this town.  Stories that travel outside the city are often labelled as urban legends.  The place is a sure win for having the most bizarre and twisted criminal cases ever recorded.

Joe had one best friend, and his name was Thomas.

They found each other at the age of 10, when Joe was being mugged by a group of homeless.  Desperate for a decent meal that night, they took out guns and harassed the poor boy until he wet his pants.  

And then Thomas showed up.  He was different than many boys, you see.  Despite his frail size, there was a glimmer of madness in his eyes that made grown men look away with unease.  
It was the eyes of a person who has lost so much that no matter what deed he may do, it will only act as a gain.  

"Go away."  his' voice was rather deep and raspy for a youthful boy.

"Take this, and get out of here."

In Thomas' hand was a bundle of bills.  Though they were old and soggy, it was more money than the muggers have seen all night. 

He tossed them to the side and like hungry dogs, the three grown men charged towards it, completely forgetting about the two boys.

Thomas might have just saved Joe's life that night.  

Of course, it took a while for Joe to learn mysterious Thomas' name.  The boy refused to give his identity upon the several meetings they had.  Why?  Well Joe wasn't too sure. 

"I don't have a name."  was all he said when asked.  

"I'm unsure of who I am, and I know the name my parents gave me does not define me anymore."

Looks like it's better to leave it than to push him for it.  

But in time, the boy revealed himself to be Thomas.  Joe recall a change in voice when the boy whispered his name.  For the first time, Thomas' whimper made Joe see through the brave face that he puts on.


(.... to be continued)

Endure, Master Wayne. Take it.

I have failed.


My heart aches.


I took every precaution there is except the thing that got me is ultimately the smallest thing imaginable.


For the longest time I tried to fix it.  Wash it.  Mend it.  Until both my hands, down to the fingertips, were red and swollen. 


I put everything I could possibly offer on the table.  


I gave it everything.


Blood.  Sweat.  Tears.  and more blood.


I have never worked so hard in my life.


There is no hope.


Life is so unfair.


*Whine whine whine.  


*Grumble grumble.


Okay...
it's back to business as usual.  I'm Lindadada.  I never give up.  No matter how many obstacles are in my way.

Choose between one life or the other

The only thing in the world that can give my chocolate addiction a run for its money is my coconut addiction.

Coconut, pandan, coconut, pandan, coconut

That is pure bliss.

I'm a happy cat.


In other news,
It's been 2 days since the Dark Knight Rises shooting in Colorado.
Everytime I turn on the news, no matter what channel, that story never fails to make headlines.
Where is batman when you need him? 
The killer claimed himself to be the joker. And believes he is living out a movie, and feels no remorse for what he has done.
To the mind of one that is insane, it's curious where the line between fantasy starts and reality ends.  


This story will always bring me sorrow.
My heart goes out to the victims. :'(  
It's a sad sad day when the movie theatre becomes a place of crime.
Batman would be ashamed.

It's about what's fair

i'm so addicted to sweet sauce i can't stop putting it in everything i eat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You wanted me, here I am

went window shopping today :) 


so much fun hehe 


went into a petstore and saw the cutest kittens.  Ahhhh.  So so so so so cute!  I've never seen such energetic creatures.  They look like they are in pure bliss when they are being scratched on the chin. =D

You crossed the line first, sir

Linda - 0; sewing machine - 1 


The sewing machine I have at home is too small to do any productive sewing.  And it requires the aid of two men.  


A.K.A. momma Peng and me. 


One of us would hold the sewing machine down and press the "on" button, while the other moves it across the sewing machine so it stitches.  
Naturally, the sewing machine is supposed to move the fabric across on its own, but since the fabric I'm using is so thick, it doesn't move.   At all.
The reason why one of us has to hold the sewing machine in place is because it wobbles.  It's too darn light. 


So here's the thing, one of us would ready ourselves with the fabric, and the other would say "ready?"  the other would nod, and then one of us would scream "AND ACTION" and press the "on" button while the other stitches away.  If the stitcher wants the sewing machine to stop, she'd scream "CUT" and the other person would press the "off" button.  


I'm tempted to film the entire process of making the sweater, it's beyond hilarious.  


It's hectic in the Peng household these days, I tell ya! 

Kevlar biweave, reinforced joints

OIIII, EVERYONE KEEPS FEEDING ME AND FEEDING ME!


I appreciate it so so so so so so so so much and I love food to death, but my stomach can only hold so much T.T


I really do wish for an infinite sized stomach.  


I really really do :( 

Rack 'em up

YES THERE'S A CHANCE OF A THUNDERSTORM TONIGHT!!!!! 


*EXCITED*


UPDATES WILL BE POSTED HOURLY!
==========================================
*update:
there is not going to be a thunderstorm... 
should've known better than to trust the weather network.. 
scum... :@
==========================================


In other news...
It's Friday the 13th!!!


And it also the 7 month-aversary between two really cool people. (EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT THE 13TH ANYMORE IN CERTAIN PARTS OF THE WORLD sniff sniff).  


Anyway, happy 7th months kitty cat, I look forward to the many more months we will enjoy together in the upcoming jolly times.

What you do with all your money?

The weather keeps getting nicer and nicer!  


And I just keep getting more and more work!!! 


So far my class isn't too horrid.  I'm managing, so I'm rather pleased with myself.  I'm too distracted by everything to properly sit down and actually do work, but considering my midterm is next week, I should settle the heck down.


Today I was on 41st when I saw an old lady carrying a lot of groceries.  And since I love grannies so much, I couldn't help but go up to her and ask her whether she needed help carrying them.  The look in her eyes when I offered her my assistance made my heart melt.  Looks like that are what keeps me going.
If there is anything in life worth living for, it is the look of absolute gratitude of an elderly.  We had a nice talk.  She was very, very lovely.  She talked about how she lived with her granddaughter, and how her hips have problems.  She said I could visit her daily, considering she is alone a lot and sometimes feels lonely.  Of course, I said I'd love to.  :)
Since I have so much time on my hands these days, I also think I'll take a trip down to the old folks home not too far from my house and sign up to volunteer for a bit.


In other news...
Mother just came home from grocery shopping...
AND SHE BOUGHT COCONUTS AHHHHHHHHHH~ LOVE HER!!!!
Now, the difficult part....


UPDATE:
YES WE GOT THE COCONUT OPEN. <3

fate has brought us together again, you tasty little thing

NOTE: Man I sure am taking more and more photos aren't I? :D

Rise

She looked up and saw the most unimaginable sight.

Jaws open, its mouthful of teeth that was once white is now stained by the blood.  With the eyes the size of a man's head, it can scan the entire city with one glance.  

Screams of terror bounce off the tall buildings of the city.  The blue sky that one would normally admire is now a cage with the inescapable echoes of agony and the smell of decaying flesh trapped amongst the people. 

This dragon too, let out its own cries, but of those of an overpowering predator.  Once every so often, it will let out a roar that makes the walls tremble in feebleness.  

She ran away as fast as she could, but a force strong as an earthquake suddenly made her fall.  She turned around to see the dragon standing at its full height.  It towered over even the tallest skyscraper.  Its sheer size alone, was so majestic that even the most cowardly man in the world cannot help but stop and gaze in awe at the twisted beauty of this creature.  If she had a choose a moment in her life to die, she would choose right this moment, right now to this sight.  

Gotham Needs To Be Destroyed

I want to live in castles in the sky! ~~~

Let's Put A Smile On That Face

HHEHEEH EHEHEH EHEHHEEE

too happy to type.

=DDD

too excited to sleep.

too filled with giggles to do anything other than.. laugh? 

But my bed calls for me! 

In other news... 

       

thy gorgeous face of the angels
dang it, I should've added whiskers! 

I'm Not A Monster, I'm Just Ahead Of The Curve

Last night I was rolling around in bed, unable to sleep.  The typical night where I watched boring videos in hopes that they will put me in a snoozefest.  But of course, sleep didn't kidnap me.


Because it's so hot these days, I like sleeping with the door open so there will be better circulation.  


So I hear my mother get out of bed.  "She's probably going to the bathroom," I thought nothing more to it.  But then nope, I didn't hear the bathroom door open.


What I heard instead, was praying.


Um...what?


Alas, behold!  My beloved mother, waking up secretly in the middle of the night and praying for my father and me (Momma Peng is religious, but not crazy religious).  A rush of emotions engulfed me at this point.  How long did she secretly do this for?  And why didn't she let us know?


Now I've never met a person who dedicates herself more to her family than my mother.  No matter what happens, she puts us before herself.  Growing up, there were occasions where I have seen the unhappiness in her eyes when she works hard for the family, where she often sacrifices her joys and desires for ours, and we barely grunt a thank you (though we appreciate it with all our hearts).


I remember a few years ago, she had a major surgery.  When she came out, the sight of her frailness and paleness is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.  I realize at that point my mother is no longer the youthful energetic woman I always thought she would be.  For some strange logic, I never thought my mother would never age.  I always thought she was the perfect embodiment of life, so full of happiness and laughter.  
But even then, within a day of coming home from the hospital, she was up and running the house again, but every move she made hurt me, for it showed she was still in pain from not properly recovering and resting.


Don't get me wrong, my father and I are not pigs.  We took care of her, and we took care of ourselves and made sure everything that needed to be done around the house was done so she need not worry.  


But the fact is, no matter how tired she is and no matter how sick she may be, she still pours every ounce of energy she has to make sure that our lives are easier, and that we are well fed, safe, and most importantly: happy.


She is truly, truly the strongest soldier, and the most selfless person I know.


She is the heart and soul of my father and me, the CPU of our family.


Now, let's skip the mumble jumble details of my thoughts.


I realize at this point I was angry at myself.


If I am able to treat everybody around me kindly, why is it that sometimes, I still fail to think about my own mother?  To put her before myself and make her life easier like the way she makes mine?


I really let myself down.  And I definitely am not as perfect a daughter as I, or other people may have imagined.


Knowing her prayers will always keep me happy and safe is the greatest feeling in the world.


After rethinking it all, I am so grateful to wake up from this earlier than I expected.  


I realize everything I can offer people is a shadow compared to how much Momma Peng can offer people.  And I only dream that I will be as amazing as she is later on in my life.


And for that, I will conclude this absurdly long, ultra "gay", mushy gushy post, and dedicate this entry to mommables. 


Truth is, she will never read this post.


This post is purely for myself, to keep myself in track of what truly matters to me.


Future LP, take note of this pl0x. 
It's been a pleasure.

xo 

past LP

Nothing To Do With All Your Strength

love

I'm proud to say I opened a coconut all on my own today.

And I did it without looking up youtube videos on how to open coconuts.

What I'm not proud of is it took me about 20 minutes, some sighs and rages of exasperation and blood loss.

But all in all, it was worth the trouble.

In their last moments, people show you who they really are

Finally got some part of my project for school done.  My group mates are super nice and funny.  I'm very pleased! 


VANCOUVER, I dedicate this post to you.  I thank you for bringing us such beautiful weather.  <3  Perfect temperature and the sky is my absolute favourite shade of blue.  


No matter how gorgeous everything is here, I'm still thinking of you, and missing you!  Seeing you on Skype this morning was so wonderful that I was dreamy the rest of my day.


Thank you for making my day awesome.

Funny World We Live In

I have officially heard from my kitty cat!  Unfortunately, it wad at 4am in the morning, thus I was full on having a snore fest and couldn't reply him!!! D: 

But my heart fluttered when I saw his messages this morning.  Knowing he is safe and well, this is a great start to my day. ^_^


==============================================================


I went to chapters!! And I bought a journal!!! :D (well technically my friend bought it for me as a late birthday present, but still, I now am the proud owner of a nice journal!!!!!! ) 
I'm going to start writing in that daily along with this blog.  I'm going to use my quill =) because a nice journal deserves a nice quill companion.  


I also FINALLY got to go to Death By Chocolate along Broadway!  I had to richest, densest cookies and creme cheesecake in my life!!!!! D= SOOO GOOD.  But by the last bite, even I felt like it was too much.  

Gotham's Reckoning

Today is the sad day when Shawn leaves.


Even the sunniest day in Vancouver will be slightly less bright without him here.  


On the other hand, Brunei will be even more blazing hot due to his radiating presence there! :D


=======================================================


I had a nice dinner tonight with some friends.  
Caught up with them about life. =D 
It was delightful.  


The weather is so strange today.  In the morning it was pouring, then it was very sunny in the afternoon.  But as I was walking home, it started to rain again.  :( And of course, knowing my luck I had no umbrella.  le hiss~


But no worries!  There's always something to smile about! And tonight, that shall be the fact that I had ice-cream!!!  =DDDD


No matter how much ice-cream I have though, a small part of me is torn because I feel the thread between my shawnkitty and I stretching more and more.  


I miss him dearly.  
And it's only been 12 hours since I last saw him.


I'm hoping with all my heart his abnormally long plane ride is comfortable, with a decent amount of leg room.

People Deserve To Have Their Faith Rewarded.

Today I have become a parent.


I have adopted a lovely purple unicorn who goes by the name of Lance.


Lance is perfection.


I'm beyond happy.  <3


Lance's 2nd mother will always be Shawn's Bruneian friend.  She was supposed to be the adopter, but unfortunately the moment I glanced into Lance's beady little eyes, he has stolen a part of my heart.


:) 


I'm very blessed to have him in my life.


In other good news, I'm going to China in August.  I'm super stoked.  :D

Come Nightfall, This City is Mine

SHAWN IS SUCH AN AMAZING COOK.

his kuay teow is to die for.  I'm still super duper full, it's kind of painful. :( 

thats the unfortunate thing with eating good food!!!!! :( it's so tasty I wolf it down and afterwards just lie for hours and be lazy because of how much I ate.  

I'm very happy Shawn likes my cooking too.  He always says he is pale in comparison to me, but I never agree.  His is creative, and is good at changing things up.  I'm only good at a few dishes, and fortunately he likes all those few dishes I am capable of making (phewww).

I want to learn how to make things that are healthier.  Shawn loves deep fried things a little too much.  I need to introduce him to less oily things.

Tonight, I substituted the chicken in spicy chicken with bean curd tofu.  It turned out so well.  Shawn says it's even better than chicken.  I'm so happy he said that, because knowing me, I'm always pro vegetarian whenever I can be!

Since he likes bean curd so much (fortunately, I also love bean curd) , I'll try to learn how to make different dishes with that.  

The only disappointing thing about tonight was the fact we had to toss out the chicken we bought.  I feel soooooo bad for wasting it, and I feel so foolish for not putting it in the freezer.  I have learned my lesson.  

I will remember to always freeze meat!  :'(

I also gave Shawn a haircut today.  It was so much fun!  I'm so so sososo soososo so thankful he trusts me enough to let me do it.  He may not realize it but it means the world to me when he lets me cut.  I'm actually not too sure whether he thinks it looks nice, or whether he thinks it looks better going to an actual barber, but I do everything I can to make him look presentable.
But this time, I cut it shorter than usual, so it's going to take some time getting used to.  But once it grows in maybe 4-5 mm, it'll look better.  But since it's summer and Brunei will be hot, his head will feel a lot less cloaked.

Speaking of cloaks, I need to start working on one!  Shawn came up with the idea to wear cloaks and capes this halloween.  It sounds like a fun idea, I'll see what I can do.

Gotham... take control

Battleship... ah... what a movie!


That movie is the definition of cheesy hollywood stereotype.


The script was bad. :( I feel overly critical, but I can't help but think that throughout the movie.  The script was sooo poorly written.  The plot idea was good and simple, and the ships were uber rad, but that's about it.


But I must say I liked it.  It serves as a nice guilty pleasure type of movie.


I wish I could be a movie script writer.  I love movies so much, and I love writing so much.  I can't think of a better way to express that interest in any other way.


I wish I have a creative idea to carry on though.


One of the reasons why I love dreams so much is because I feel the creativity that exists in my dream world ceases to exist when I'm awake.


I used to be creative.  I used to be able to write fun stories :) They were so good I got stickers and I got published in the school library.  Someday, I must go back and visit my elementary and see whether my stories are still in the library :D


So my mother gave me three choices for August:


1) China trip
2) Europe for maybe a week or two
3) US trip to Disneyland, University Studios..etc


The final say might not be mine, but I can't choose between the three right now >_<


I feel that recently I have kind of lost my drive and ambition.  I don't study as hard as I used to, and when I'm not in school, I just sleep and relax way too much more than a student should.  I want to do something productive in the last month of summer.  If I go back to China, I'm bringing my computer and am going to work on programming.  I'm also going to practise guitar more, and  play with Anfo.  Matt lent me this great steel string and I haven't really played it that much yet.  I want to work on my finger picking : )
AND Shawn had already gave me the approval to rent an electric drum set and leaving it at his place for the fall.  I can't wait.  I miss drums so so sososo much!!!!


I seriously can't wait!

Good evening ladies and gentlemen

Today Shawn bought an adorable purple unicorn for his friend.


I named him Lance.


I like Lance.


I'm going to be sad to see him go.


In any case, 


Good night world.


I wish for an exciting dream tonight.


If indeed I am fortunate enough to have one, I will write about it the moment I wake up, before it is all forgotten.  Hence, I shan't leave this page. 

Forest in Burma

Today's such a nice day.  It's been a while since Vancouver has had a decently hot summers day.  The temperature was about 24degrees outside.  The sky is beautiful, I look out and not a cloud in sight.  I really hope it will stay like this from now on, even though the weather network says so, I still have my doubts.


So I was talking to my mother and father today, and we were discussing about what to do in the month of August, for my summer school would have ended and I will be free.  Suggestions were thrown around, but my mother told me that I could go back to China for that month.  My aunt's been wanting me to go back for a while, and I must say I do really want to go.


My father says I'll die in the heat.  In Shenzhen, it is 39degrees at this time of the year.  He says that kind of heat is unimaginable and I will not be able to withstand it.  But I took that as a challenge.


I'm not sure whether I will be going back or not, but nonetheless, I believe this means a vacation is definite in August.  SQUEEEEEE!!!!!  :)  I am a happy girl.

The mob wouldn't go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line.

I am very happy with my life.  I have a loving mom and dad, and a loving boyfriend, and the most loving wonderful caring friends over.  Everything seems to be falling into place.


I have a job for September.  


I think my father is very impressed with me, the most he's ever been in my life.  
I'm really looking forward to it.  I never imagined myself actually working for a compsci based company.  I'm the worst at programming, general compsci based common sense (i.e. the firefox/firewall incident that my friends will probably never ever let go for the rest of their lives).
I have a huge list of basic things I need to learn before I start working, and I'll try to start on that asap.  I want to be able to think logically like a computer, but I have so much difficulty doing so.  I'm not too sure exactly what I'm good at, but I know it's not compsci.  So to be starting work in that field kind of terrifies me.  I'll be the odd one out, but I'm hoping that somehow I can wiggle my way into fitting in comfortably at work.  


On the other hand, I'll be quite sad to start work too.  I'll definitely miss lunchtimes with Shawn.  For the entire second term, I believe he brought me (occasionally I brought him) lunch.  It was usually the sweetest moment of my day, and he never ever fails to surprise me with something new.  No more home-cooked Shawn lunches for an entire school year!  Oh nose.  It's going to be very tough, since that is basically interweaved into my life now.  BUT, I shall not gloom over this!  I shall smile upon the skies, for life has given me such a wonderful working opportunity.  I am sooooo grateful.


I have reflected my behaviours over the last few days.  I realize once I start working I'll need to be more adult like than I am now.  I need to put my childish ways behind me.  No more getting upset over tiny things, no more emotional problems, definitely no more random outbursts of rage!  As of right now I will make an unbreakable vow with myself: I, Linda, will promise to try my very best to be reasonable and be mature from now on.  I will control my rage, I will find a new way to get my anger out (if there shall come a day when I am angry) through the means of exercise and writing.  I will not take out my rage on those around me, (especially Shawn because I love him) and if I am ever upset, I will think before I act randomly and confuse everybody and ruin their days.


If I shall ever break this vow, I shall be given the worst punishment of all time.  


====================================================


SOOOO Shawn and I were thinking of opening a night market booth next summer and sell food.  I'm thinking that will be super fun!  But a lot of time need to go into planning that.  I'll try to save up some money and start us off.  So far we have decided on the following foods:


- spring rolls
.....
that's it....


BUT, it will be tasty spring rolls!
Maybe we can sell drinks too, because Shawn makes a nice milk tea.  And lemonade.  And simply tea with honey.  


Of course, if this were to go down, I need to perfect my singlish.  I will be practicing all year!!!  


ohoh, maybe we can have tofu puffs too. 
:) 

Whatever Doesn't Kill You Simply Makes You Stranger

It's never good to be self conscious, for usually the reason to be self conscious is too silly to be compared to the more important issues in life.  But as a girl, snoring is quite possibly one of the most unflattering things one can do, especially in front of  a boy.


I've been aware I tend to snore (quite loudly too), but I would always just hope that the times I do snore are alone in my bedroom, and not while napping next to someone.  When Shawn said I snored loudly tonight while he was doing homework and I was napping next to him, I could drop dead on the ground at that moment.  I'm glad it was so dark as he couldn't see my tomato face.  WHY LINDA?  I'm so terribly embarrassed I'm scared to nap in front of him now.  This fear would diminish quickly, for every time I go onto his bed, I just want to lie there and sleep forever, but the knowing I would produce such noise is disheartening.  If my snores were more quiet, I wouldn't mind.  I really really really wish I didn't snore.

Watch the world burn

So Shawn says I'm a nice person.  Of course, under the boyfriend code, it's what he must say.  But fine, let's be serious.  I believe he means it when he said it to me; but I couldn't help but wonder, what exactly defines kindness.  Surely the people I have been mean to in the past won't think I'm that great.  Granted, I know I've changed over the years, "matured", if I may even honour myself with that word.  I love making people smile, and making people laugh.  I love being kind to people as it makes me feel like I am standing on a fluffy cloud.  It's a good feeling that nothing in the world can really top.  Even after all the unpleasant arguments I've had with Shawn in the past, after my occasional rage cries, he is still able to look at me in the eyes and say I'm kind.  I honestly cannot be more thankful for that.  In my opinion, that's what nice is.  The ability to overlook and ignore the uglies of a person and let their mistakes go and simply love them for how they are.  I know I have issues with letting things go.  But I'll be good, I have promised myself that.  


I feel my parents though... see me as someone who is quite the opposite of the girl Shawn describes me to be.  Ah, the folks, they always make a good tale.  Though it's a story for another time.

Now there's a batman

Shawn said something today that made me think hard and made me blush like mad... but I'm super sleepy... I'll update later... night world... 
and oh, I'm level 54 on diablo now; and I'm significantly stronger than I was a few hours ago.  I don't die as easily, and my damager is better than before.  I'm finally confident in my abilities to take on monsters solo.  
I'm going to dream about the game tonight.....

Hit me

Tonight, Shawn said something that made my year.


He said I was the nicest person he knows.


It's amazing how simple words can brighten one's life so easily.

I Stick A Razor In My Mouth

After a semi-rough morning, the rest of the night went quite well.


I went to the night market!  Though short on cash, the tiny bit of food I bought was so delicious.  The closest thing to getting chinese street vendor around here.  The skewers all looked sooooooo good but unfortunately the people I was with were full.  Maybe next time!  I saw the cutest thing on sale there, I'm not sure how to describe it, but it was filled with asian goodness.


The ice-cream red bean shaved ice we bought was so tasty.  Though afterwards when I thought about it, the toppings they gave us were very little, 80% of what we paid for was ice.  :(

I saw owen and some other old friends at the night market.  It's been ages.  It was nice.  Familiar faces always brings me joy but also a bit of sadness, for I realize how much my life parted from theirs.   Life moves on, and I can't stop it.  As much as I thought I missed them, I realize that the fact I didn't make as hard an effort to see them means that I have grown used to the distance.  They are still important to me, but I don't physically need them beside me the way I used to.

Shawn bussed me home after the night market.  I think I forgot to thank him when I got off the bus.  I feel bad and feel really rude.  He let me sleep on his lap and stroked my eyebrows and forehead.  It was heavenly.  I never feel more at peace and comfortable that I do when he does that to me.  Darn I did wish that bus would drive on forever.


I just played hell on Diablo.  Wow, it was so incredible.  It's my favourite level.  The amount of times I die did not exponentially increase, for I die in nightmare all the time.  I can't wait until I play inferno.  But that means beating Diablo in hell...
Oh nose...
What are we goings to doooos :(


Oh yeah, Peter has a funny duck face.  I just burst out laughing when I pictured it again.


Now I can't stop laughing.


I'll be giggling in my dreams all night long!

Comes The Knight

I came here to study.  But mostly, I came here to visit him, to see him and get a glimpse of that flashy smile I love so much.


Instead, I'm sitting out here on the kitchen table, alone, class notes opened in front of me, but unable concentrate.  He?  In his room, playing Diablo.  Fun game I must say.  I'm rather addicted.  But I can't help but feel a tiny bit of loath towards the game, for sometimes I feel that I am second best when compared.  I know I'm not, and I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it.  It's hard to journey all the way to visit someone when I barely a proper greeting.  He didn't even get out of his lying position to even take time to appreciate the fact I'm standing right there in front of him.  Perhaps he did, and it's my fault for being such a princess I feel like it wasn't enough.  I feel a bit pointless here.  It makes no difference whether I'm in the house or not at this point, for neither of us are acknowledging each other.  Is this normal behaviour?  I guess it is for us.  Then why do I still a bit unnatural over this?  If it's normal I shouldn't be feeling all these emotions.  I hate myself so so much for being like this.  I can always join him, and have fun with him.  But I feel that at this point, if I log on, I won't be able to have fun like the way I normally do.
Do I do this to him when he comes over?  I don't think so, but I'll make sure I pay attention to my actions next time.  
I know he doesn't mean to be rude.  He's a good guy.  If I tell him to stop, I know he will.  But I wouldn't feel too happy doing so, because I know it wasn't voluntary.  And honestly, if I tell him to stop, I don't know what we can really do together.  I'm always up for going outside, but the weather today isn't as good as yesterday, and he has to study for his midterm tomorrow, so I can't drag him into doing something that will suck up his entire day.


It's deja vu.  I'm am holding everything in.  I can't get mad.  I can't rage for it will solve nothing.  I must change and learn to let things go and not take everything so seriously.  It's only a game.  I need not to start a war with Diablo, because I know once Diablo is over, another game will take its place, and it'll be the same thing over again.  I must learn to appreciate his love for games.  And I do.
He has taught me so much yesterday about techniques and ways I can survive longer.  I believe I'm better than I used to be, and for me, improvement is always shined upon by a positive light.


I'm calming down now.  Heartbeat returning to regular pace.  HP recovering slowly.  I am good.  Today will be a good day.


==========================================


He just came out, for a second I thought he came to say hi, but he went into the bathroom.  


Let it go Linda... let it go... :(


Oh he came and hugged me.  


Smile Linda.  
I must smile.
Choke the tears and the runny nose.  I am loved.  I am appreciated.  Life is happy.  I am surrounded by great people.  There are worse things out there for me to worry about.  This is so miniscule.  Silly girl.

Out of the darkness

I think I need to start exercising again.  I am more moody than I normally am these days... and that is horrible.  Moody Linda is so unpleasant I think if I were to meet myself in that state I would smack myself so hard I fly up to the moon.


On the bright side, I think I might be doing okay in compsci 313.  Shawn is super patient with me in his teachings.  I can't thank him enough.  I brought his kway teow he left at my place when he cooked for my mom back to his place today, but I forgot to tell him.  My mom bought fresh bean sprouts for him.  I'll bring it over tomorrow.


SOOOO I attempted to make deep fried dumplings for him today, and tried to make the dumpling wrap from scratch.  I failed epicly.  I remember there were these deep fried dumplings I bought from t&t before and they were scrumptious, I decided to use them as today's inspiration.
Oh nose...
Mistake #1, Not enough flavouring added to the flour
Mistake #2, Not enough time mixing the egg evenly into the dough
Mistake #3... "attempt" to wrap it beautifully.... but instead it turned out to look like a pile of poo.


I've never had much experience with cooking, but I love to come up with things on the spot and try out new things.  But when I fail, I usually fail with misery mixed with laughter for it is in the most absurd ways I fail.  Prime example would be today's dumplings.  I wish I got to take a picture before Shawn eated it.


==============================================

" and he cried out with a loud voice, as when a lion roareth; and when he cried, seven thunders uttered their voices."

- revelation 10:3

I liked that quote so much after reading kingdom come I saved an entire page of pdf with simply that typed in the middle. hyuk.

I found it when I was looking through my old writings. 

I remember back in the days when I used to copy out sentences or even paragraphs I thought were beautifully written and saving them so I can re-appreciate them over and over again once I had to return the book to the library.  

I found the draft prologue of a dragon story I was supposed to write.  I'm going to pick it up again soon.  I don't have plot in mind, so I'll just make it up as I go.  

Shawn's an incredible artist.  I wish I could have a copy of everything he draws.  

He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.

Today Peter father took us out for dinner.  He bought us beer.  I am unable to drink, but I didn't want to be rude, thus I took a couple of sips.  I'm pathetically intolerant to alcohol, and turned into a tomato within seconds.  It's rather embarrassing, but his father was so kind as to being okay with me not finishing the rest of the beer.


My mom told me she cannot drink at all, for her heart beats fast and then her throat feels funny and she has problems breathing.  I feel like I'm also kind of like that.  My heart beats very fast, and my breath becomes shorter and faster.  I wonder if I practice drinking by drinking a bit everyday, if it would help me become more tolerant to alcohol.


I got to ride in a convertible for the first time in my life, the wind in my hair is such a nice feeling, my dream car might have turned into a convertible, but then of course, it must still be black and look batman/sportscar-ish.  Sammie's very kind to drive Shawn and me all the way to the beach.  Last time I could tell Shawn hauling all that stuff on his back was painful, my back ached just looking at him.  I wanted to help, but he didn't let me carry it.
I tend to feel spoiled when he refuses me to carry anything, or help out around the house, and it's a feeling I'm not used to, and it's a feeling I'm too afraid I'll get used to.  Maybe that's why I'm permanently fighting him for the grocery bags, no matter how heavy they are.  :D  If I have two hands, might as well make use of them.  That's what I think at least.


The BBQ we had at lunch was fun, but the wind was too too strong.  I really wish I had a hairband. I got so annoyed with my hair blocking my eyesight I never wished I could be more bald in my life. There's always a lady walking around asking us if we could give her our empty cans.  I get a funny feeling in my stomach when I see her.  She's very cute, old and very tanned asian woman with a hat.  She reminds me of my home in China, where there's always an old lady who looked like her selling tofu downstairs of my old apartment.  I feel very very sad when I see her eye the cans that are there, but are not empty.  I wish I can walk around and help her collect cans.  The next time I'm there, I'm going to give her some money, and help her collect cans, and pick up some garbage around the beach.  I'll also see if I can give the can lady some of our food, because we always have extra food that go to waste.


I can't wait to fly the kite Shawn and I (tho mostly Shawn) will make.  The design is really good, but I'm not sure if the wood we bought will be strong enough to handle the wind.  I'm going to start watching videos on how to make kites, and help him out.  I'm very excited.  Shawn is very talented.  He has good ideas to implement for the kite.


The other day Karen asked me to choose a puzzle with a nice picture so she and Dennis can build the puzzle and then frame it.  Which reminds me, Shawn and I were supposed to do that a while back.  Maybe when the kite is done we can start the puzzle.
Random list of things to do with Shawn:  Build the kite.  Fly the kite.  Add more designs on our elvish shirts.  Work on the assassin's creed hoodie.  Puzzle.  Probably more but this is all I can think of for the time being.


My fingers are oily, and I can see my keyboard becoming greasy.  :(


I have so much on my mind, I'll add more later.


================================


It is later!


Thanks Shawhn for liking my previous post :)


I have an article for The Ubyssey due today, but unfortunately, the professors I'm supposed to interview is not in town, and she said she would prefer to talk to me in person when she is back, as answering interview questions over e-mail takes too long.  I hope I get an extension.  I feel like I have homework to do, even though this is simply a hobby.  I want to be like Lois Lane, where I become to best journalist in town.  Her fiery passion for news inspires me.


I'm going to find my old Batman comics and post a bit of it here, and see if anybody will actually read it.  I never got around to finishing it, though I have the story in my head.  I feel that it is too linear.  I need to be more creative.  I feel my imagination is diminishing.  I used to be so active with my mind.  Time to pick up reading again.  I miss books.  I can't remember the last book I read that was not a comic.  Time to hit Chapters and spend an entire day there!!  I really need to "re-read" the Hobbit, although I never properly finished the book.  I want to know the story well before I go watch the movie.  I can't wait for the movie.  Why the heck is the world "movie" underlined in red when I type?!?!  Apparently, blogspot, or maybe it is my computer, doesn't think "movie" is a word.


Movie Movie Movie!


How curious.